SERMON TITLE: Let’s Quit Pretending

SERMON TITLE: Real Love

SERMON TEXT: 1Peter 4:7-8

 

In First Peter 4:8, we are told, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 

 

Fervent love is love that stretches itself out for others.  It holds nothing back, but gives everything it has.  It knows no limitations and is free from hesitation and reservation.  It is maximized in its efforts, radiant in its expressions and ablaze in its passion.

 

Have you ever noticed that the people who need your love the most deserve it the least?

  • People who have left you when you needed them.
  • People who betrayed you.
  • People who abused you.
  • People who misused you.
  • People who spoke evil of you.

 

G. K. Chesterton declared, “The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.”[1]

 

If you’re close enough for someone to slap you on the cheek, then they’re probably a member of your own family or circle of friends.

 

High maintenance relationships are the ones that test the sincerity of your love.

  • The person that demands gifts as proof of your love.
  • The person that demands time as proof of your love.
  • The person that wants to control your life.
  • The mother who uses guilt to get you to visit at Christmas.

 

Jesus commanded His disciples to love their enemies and to pray for those who mistreated them.  (See Mt. 5:44.)

 

Have you noticed that God sends rain and sunshine to the fields of those who are

  • good and bad,
  • nice and nasty,
  • proud and humble,
  • wicked and righteous.

 

If all we do is love the loveable, then how are we different from the rest of the world?  If we only greet those who greet us, we shouldn’t expect a medal.  Even the worst of sinners do that.

 

Jesus commands us to return good for evil.  Here’s what He proposed:

 

“Don’t hit back.  If someone strikes you, don’t retaliate; take it and turn the other cheek.  If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, gift wrap your best coat and give it to them as a present.  If someone takes unfair advantage of you, make what they’ve taken a gift to them and thereby gain victory over your tendency toward anger and hatred.”

 

Such actions cannot be carried out as a mechanical response to a command, but by a heart empowered by love; real love.  Such actions demand a heart that is secure in God’s definition of them.

 

Love makes the people around you too VALUABLE to write off. 

 

Hitler portrayed Jews as being less than human vermin that required extermination.  During WWII we called German soldiers KRAUTS and Japanese soldiers NIPS or JAPS.  We dehumanized our enemies so we could kill them and not feel bad about it.  Why?  Because it’s hard to kill someone we view as a person.

An example of this occurred in Holland in the seventies. A group of terrorists captured a whole trainload of people. They made demands on the Dutch government. The Dutch government did not come through, so they began to murder people. They murdered two on the first day, and the second day, they selected a man by the name of Garrard Votters. They brought him out and said, 'Say your prayers. You're going to die.' And he said, 'Okay, but before I die, there's a man here that knows my family. I'd like to give him a message.' Of course the South Moluccans wanted to listen in. He said, 'I feel my life has been a failure.' He wanted to tell his wife he was sorry. He went on and on about his problems. He became a real human being instead of just a symbol to be executed. The Moluccans were unable to execute him."[2]

It’s hard to hate our enemies when love turns them into REAL people with festering hurts and wounds; people who have been victims of child abuse, parental abandonment, betrayal, rape, and so on.

 

On April 6, 2000, Ricky and Toni Sexton were taken hostage inside their Wytheville, Virginia, home by a fugitive couple on a crime spree. Toni had taken her poodle outside when Dennis Lewis, 37, and Angela Tanner, 20, roared into her driveway, pointed pistols at her, and yelled at her to get back inside the house.

 

Inside the house, the Sextons turned their hostage experience into an opportunity to demonstrate Christian love. The Sextons listened to their captors' troubles, fed them, showed them gospel videos, read to them from the Bible, and prayed and cried with them.

 

During negotiations with the police, Ricky Sexton refused his own release when Lewis and Tanner suggested that they might end the standoff by committing suicide. The standoff had an unusual ending. Before surrendering to the police, Angela Tanner left $135 and a note for the Sextons that read: "Thank you for your hospitality. We really appreciate it. I hope he gets better. Wish all luck & love. Please accept this. It really is all we have to offer. Love, Angela and Dennis." [3]

 

Something happens when love looks at people or when the people we hate look back at us in love. 

  • Something happens when God begins to show us the wounds in the lives of our persecutors and helps us see the reason for their actions. 
  • Something happens when we love the unlovely. 
  • Something happens when instead of escalating the war of deeds and words, we counter in the opposite spirit…with REAL LOVE. 
  • Something happens when love is in control.

 

Some 2000 years ago, Love stretched Himself out on a cross and with total disregard for His own pain and personal needs declared, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

 

That is Fervent Love.

 

TRANS: Not only does REAL LOVE stretch itself out for us, it also covers us.

 

The Amplified Bible declares, “Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins--forgives and disregards the offenses of others.”  (1Peter 4:8)

 

The writer of Proverbs wrote, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Proverbs 10:12).

 

Love covers in that it does not stir up or broadcast the sins and failures of others.

 

In Genesis 9:20-27, we are told that Noah blessed his sons, Shem and Japheth, but cursed his grandson, Canaan the son of Ham.  The reason?  While drunk, Noah “uncovered himself inside his tent” (9:21).  Ham, the father of Canaan, “saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside” (9:22).  Upon learning that their father was naked, “Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not look upon their father’s nakedness” (9:23). 

 

In scripture, nakedness is associated with shame.  Canaan, Ham’s son, is cursed because his father uncovered Noah’s nakedness, thereby exposing him to shame.  He didn’t merely look at his father’s nakedness, he seems to have invited his brothers to shame their father also.  Instead, Shem and Japheth are blessed because they covered their father’s nakedness and prevented him being brought to shame. 

 

God did something similar to this in the Garden.  After eating from the tree, Adam and Eve “knew that they were naked” (3:7), and in an attempt to cover their nakedness and deal with their shame, “they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings” (3:7).  Later, we are told “the Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them” (3:21). 

 

This is the way love acts with regard to the sins and failures of others.  Love does not condone sin, but neither does it broadcast or take delight in the failure and shaming of others.

 

ILLUS: From what I understand, you will never find an imperfect piece of Waterford Crystal (the fancy stuff from Ireland). Other manufacturers of crystal may sell imperfect pieces or seconds at bargain prices, but there are no seconds when it comes to Waterford Crystal. Any time an inspector finds even the slightest imperfection, the piece is crushed, melted and remade.

 

Unlike Waterford Crystal, the church is made up of seconds. It is filled with imperfect people who have all been forgiven by the grace of God.

 

In Chapter Six of his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul wrote:

 

9 Don't you know that those who do wrong will have no share in the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals,

10 thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers, and swindlers-- none of these will have a share in the Kingdom of God.

11 There was a time when some of you were just like that, but now your sins have been washed away, and you have been set apart for God. You have been made right with God because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.  [New Living Translation]


Love doesn’t seek to shame others by uncovering their sin.  To the contrary, it refuses to stir up strife. Instead of reminding people of their sins and using those sins against them, love goes the limit in allowing the b
lood of Calvary to blot out sin. It understands that we are all sinners in need of grace and mercy.  It celebrates the forgiveness and cleansing purchased by the blood of Christ.

 

Love lifts the garment of forgiveness and without looking at the nakedness of the fallen one it covers their sin. 

 

Love does not take delight in rehearsing the past sins of others.  It refuses to keep score of the sins of others and does not keep a record when others do it wrong.  It never looks back at what people were, but chooses rather to always look forward to what God can make of the worst among us.

 

Loving people do not seek ways in which they can get revenge or punish their enemies.  Instead, they seek to bless those who are talking bad about them.

 

Have you noticed that Jesus didn’t command us to love our neighbor more than ourselves, but as we love ourselves?  I know all the bad things about me and I still chose what I like to eat when I go to a restaurant.  I wait until it’s cool outside to mow the lawn.  I wear comfortable clothing and avoid things that cause me pain. I don’t broadcast my faults or uncover those sins God has forgiven.  That’s how God wants me to love you and you to love me.

 

There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen. On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the Boy's stocking, with a sprig of holly between his paws, the effect was charming.

 

There were other things in the stocking, nuts and oranges and a toy engine, and chocolate almonds and a clockwork mouse, but the Rabbit was quite the best of all. For at least two hours the Boy loved him, and then Aunts and Uncles came to dinner, and there was a great rustling of tissue paper and unwrapping of parcels, and in the excitement of looking at all the new presents the Velveteen Rabbit was forgotten.

 

For a long time he lived in the toy cupboard or on the nursery floor, and no one thought very much about him. He was naturally shy, and being only made of velveteen, some of the more expensive toys quite snubbed him. …the poor little Rabbit was made to feel himself very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him at all was the Skin Horse.

 

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

 

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

 

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

 

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

 

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

 

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

 

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."[4]

 

Eventually, the little Rabbit became the boy’s favorite toy.  The Boy loved him so hard that he loved all his whiskers off, and the pink lining in his ears turned grey, and his brown spots faded.  He scarcely looked like a rabbit any more, except to the Boy.  To him he was always beautiful, and that was all the little Rabbit cared about.  He didn’t mind how he looked to other people, because the nursery magic had made him Real, and when you are Real shabbiness doesn’t matter.

 

Perhaps the Skin Horse was more right than we might realize: “When someone loves you, REALLY loves you, then you become REAL to them, and when you become REAL shabbiness doesn’t matter.” 

 

God loves you!  He really loves you!



[1] Citation: G. K. Chesterton, Leadership, Vol. 9, no. 2.

[2] Ted Childress, former FBI hostage expert, speaking as part of Donald Hoke's sermon, "The Stockholm Syndrome," Preaching Today, Tape No. 30

[3] Gary Yates, Roanoke, Virginia; source: The Roanoke Times (4-8-00), p.A-1

[4] The Velveteen Rabbit or How Toys Become Real, by Margery Williams [Doubleday and Company: Garden City, New York - no copyright or pub date].

 

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(c) 2004, by Louis Bartet