Forgiveness Is

FORGIVENESS: A Study In Moral Freedom
Lesson One
Forgiveness Is

(Luke 17:1-10)

¹He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come! ²“It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble. ³“Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. ⁴“And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”⁵The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” ⁶And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and be planted in the sea’; and it would obey you.⁷“But which of you, having a slave plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come immediately and sit down to eat’? ⁸“But will he not say to him, ‘Prepare something for me to eat, and properly clothe yourself and serve me while I eat and drink; and afterward you may eat and drink’? ⁹“He does not thank the slave because he did the things which were commanded, does he? ¹⁰“So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.’” (NASB)

In Psalm 55:12-14 David declares, “For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; then I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me; then I could hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, my companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God in the throng.”

The offense came to us from those with whom we shared pleasant places in life. We spent holidays with them. We shared meals together. We confided in them or slept next to them, but they betrayed us. The closer the relationship, the more severe the offense! We gave ourselves to them without holding anything back, so we expected more from them.

The angriest court scenes are to be found, not in criminal court but in the divorce court. Home is suppose to be a place of shelter, provision and love, so when it turns against us the pain it inflicts is doubly severe; it becomes the source of our greatest pain.

History reveals that the bloodiest wars are civil wars.

Brother fights brother.
Son fights father.
Father fights son.

You expect your enemies to hurt you, but not your friends and family.

I wish I could tell you that the Church is offense free. I wish I could tell you that it is the only place on earth where you don’t have to be concerned about being offended or hurt.

It is Jesus who dispels that illusionary falsehood with a sobering statement.

I. A SOBERING TRUTH

"It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come." The issue isn’t “if,” but “when.” You can be certain that you have and/or will experience baited traps set to lead you into sin and keep you there. In verse three, He reveals that the offenders are those closest to us.

We cannot prevent the offense, but we do not have to be offended; trapped by the offense. The Greek word translated “offend” or “stumbling blocks” is skandalon and refers to the part of a trap to which the bait was attached.

It's what Peter became to Jesus.

Matthew 16:23 (NKJV) But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense [skandalon] to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."

It’s what Paul warned us about in Romans.

Romans 14:13 (NIV) Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
Romans 14:20 (NIV) Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.
Romans 16:17 (NIV) I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.

It’s what Balaam became to Israel.

Revelations 2:14 (NKJV) "But I have a few things against you, because you have there those who hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit sexual immorality.

The sobering truth is offenses will come. You will be tempted to sin and the sin in focus here is unforgiveness.

To this sobering truth Paul adds a serious warning.

II. A SERIOUS WARNING

"…woe to him through whom these offense come! It would be better for him if a millstone was hung around his neck and he was thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble."

Sue Curran said, “The Scripture’s command to forgive does not give us a license to offend.” [1]

Paul was so smitten by this reality that he wrote:

1Corinthians 8:13 (NIV) “… if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.” (See 1 Cor 10:32.)

One of the millstones experienced by offenders is found in Proverbs 18:19: “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.”

This past Thursday I had to eat the bitter bread grown from seeds of offense I sowed 36 years ago. Contrary to popular belief the words “I’m sorry I hurt you” or “I apologize for hurting you” aren’t cure-alls. They do not always restore relationships or heal wounds that have festered for years.

You may not go to hell for offending someone, but I can testify that you may have to live there until the offended party finds the strength to forgive you.

Not only does Jesus give us a sobering truth and a serious warning, He gives us sound instruction.

III. SOUND INSTRUCTION

"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him." Jesus' instructions are threefold.

A. BE ON GUARD! – Be alert and on the lookout for satan’s traps.

1. Be on the lookout for snares that have been set to entrap you.

2. Keep a guard on yourself lest you become a stumbling block.

3. Guard your heart against unforgiveness and bitterness against those who have set traps for you. To harbor unforgiveness is to become a stumbling block. The offended who harbor unforgiveness become offenders. (See Matthew 24:10-13) Jesus implies that being offended can lead to distrust and distrust to hate.

"And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another” (Mt. 24:10).

B. REBUKE YOUR OFFENDING BROTHER! – Present your perception of the facts in love and wait for a response. (See 1 Cor. 5.) This active response is a far cry from the passive sweep-it-under-the-carpet response suggested by religion. Religion suggests that we should sweep it under the carpet and make like it never happened. Sweeping things under the proverbial rug allows the hurt of the offense remains. By rebuking the offending brother, we help him grow and legitimately deal with the offense. (See Matthew 5:23-24 and Mark 11:25-26)

Matthew 5:23 through Matthew 5:25 (TLB) ²³“So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and suddenly remember that a friend has something against you, ²⁴leave your sacrifice there beside the altar and go and apologize and be reconciled to him, and then come and offer your sacrifice to God. ²⁵Come to terms quickly with your enemy before it is too late and he drags you into court and you are thrown into a debtor’s cell, Mark 11:25 through Mark 11:26 (TLB)²⁵But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive you your sins too.”

C. FORGIVE HIM! – The Church isn't to be known as a community of carnivorous watchdogs, but as a community of compassionate forgiven forgivers who quickly seek to restore the fallen and thereby the community.

Galatians 6:1 (NASB) - ¹Brethren…if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
Galatians 6:1 (TLB) - ¹Dear brothers, if a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong.
Galatians 6:1 (TMNT) - Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.

Resentment grows when you let your hurt become hate. Resentment increases when you allow what is eating you to eat you up. Resentment matures when you poke, stoke, feed, and fan the fire, stirring the flames and reliving the pain. Resentment is the deliberate decision to nurse the offense until it becomes a black, furious, growling grudge.Citation: Max Lucado, The Applause of Heaven (Word, 1996), p.100.

FORGIVENESS UNLOADS A SACK OF TATORS A teacher once told each of her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school. They were instructed to call to mind every person they had a grudge against. For every person they refused to forgive, they chose a potato, wrote on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. They were told to carry this bag with them everywhere, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, on their lap when riding, next to their desk during classes. Some bags became quite heavy. Lugging this around, paying attention to it all the time, and remembering not to leave it in embarrassing places was a hassle. In time the potatoes became moldy and began to rot. The odor was so sickening that it became offensive.

Often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, but in reality it is a gift to ourselves.

CONCLUSION

Forgiveness is the willingness to walk beyond the hurt to a new understanding and a deeper relationship. It does not take away the hurt, but refuses to allow the hurt to stand in the way of a new start.

Rita Snowdon says, “forgiveness is…the wonder of being trusted again by God in the place where I disgraced Him." Rita Snowdon

When actualized on a horizontal plane, forgiveness is trusting others in the place where they disgraced me.

WYNTON MARSALIS RECUSES A SONGJournalist David Hajdu recently told a memorable story about Wynton Marsalis, one of the most easily recognizable jazz musicians in our day and one of the premier jazz trumpeters of all time. One night, Marsalis was playing with a small, little-known combo in a New York basement club. A few songs into their set, he walked to the front of the bandstand and began an unaccompanied solo of the 1930s ballad, "I Don't Stand a Ghost of a Chance with You." Hajdu records that the audience became rapt as Marsalis's trumpet virtually wept in despair, almost gasping at times with the pain in the music.Stretching the mood taut, Marsalis came to the final phrase, with each note coming slower and slower, with longer and longer pauses between each one: "I…don't…stand…a…ghost…of…a…chance—"Then someone's cell phone went off.It began to chirp an absurd little tune. The audience broke up into titters, the man with the phone jumped up and fled into the hallway to take his call, and the spell was broken. "MAGIC—RUINED," the journalist scratched into his notepad.But then Marsalis played the cellphone melody note for note. He played it again, with different accents. He began to play with it, spinning out a rhapsody on the silly little tune, changing keys several times. The audience settled down, slowly realizing that they were hearing something altogether extraordinary. Around and around Marsalis played for several minutes, weaving glory out of goofiness. Finally, in a masterstroke, he wound down seamlessly to the last two notes of his previous song: "…with…you." The audience exploded with applause.In the same way, our brilliant, adaptable God is at work throughout this sin-sick world, bringing beauty out of baseness, heroism out of holocaust, love out of loss—even salvation out of sacrifice. He calls us to believe, and then do the same.Citation: John G. Stackhouse, Jr., Faith Today (May/June, 2003), p. 54.

Will we?

Prayer

Father God, I choose to forgive without regard for my feelings. I cannot deny that I have been offended, but I am not obliged to give the offense a place to grow. I choose to release those who have sinned against me from the debt they owe me. I do not want those who have offended me to pay for their crimes. I want to do to them what you have done to me, grace them and release them from their debt. If I say I forgive when I don't, then that's hypocrisy. The fact is, I can override my feelings and forgive. Hypocrisy is feigning forgiveness, but choosing to forgive is, in its beginning, an act of obedience. In this moment and the moments that are to come I choose to give you an opportunity to turn ashes into beauty, loss into gain, and grief into growth. I choose to forgive those who have trespassed against me! I choose to walk beyond the hurt to a new understanding and a deeper relationship. I cannot take away the hurt, but I do refuse to allow the hurt to stand in the way of a new start.

Father, I choose to accept the forgiveness extended to me by those I have offended. I choose to allow the death of Christ to fully pay the debt I owe. I cannot claim innocence, but I can claim forgiveness because of the cross of Christ.

Father, I ask you to forgive me for my sin. Forgive me for the sins I’ve committed against you and against my neighbor. Forgive me for the wounds I’ve inflicted upon others. Forgive me for the attitudes that motivated my sinful actions and bring wholeness to those areas of my life that are still under sin’s influence.

[1] Sue Curran, The Forgiving Church, page 49.